Opinion

Abobi And the Nigeria Elections

Opinion February 19, 2023

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By Prince Charles Dickson

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. – James Bovard, Civil Libertarian

Verse 1

Rumuokoro don catch fire
Last night I was walking on the road
When they shoot the man and shoot him tyre
Ikorodu don catch fire
As I dey waka, I dey see one man wen be say dem shoot wey dey carry kaya
The Baba carry kaya
Soldier go, soldier come
Barrack no dey run
Kill by a gun, you will die by a gun
How you go feel at the point of no return?
‘Nuff men dead under the sun
Na so them kill the innocent man
Innocent man get paddy man
Paddy man vex turn Taliban
Taliban run the whole town down

Chorus
Dem don kill Abobi eh (Don kill Abobi)
Na who kill Abobi? (Who kill Abobi?)
Abobi, Abobi eh
Dem don kill Abobi (Don kill Abobi)
Na who kill Abobi? (Who kill Abobi?)
Abobi, Abobi eh, ay

Post-Chorus
Fire, fire, fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire, fire, fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire, fire, fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire, fire, fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Fire (Ahn-ahn-ahn)

Verse 2
Ose mi bipe, gbim gbim
My full body dey gbim gbim
My body do me, gbim gbim
Obodo delu jim jim
Onyeoma na jim jim
I carry my thing jim jim
From Rumola to Agidingbi
Everywhere just dey gidigidi
Delu Ma jim jim
I carry my shoe gbimgbim
Mama sef dey gbimgbim
Papa sef dey gbimgbim
Abobi no dey find trouble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
E no dey find trouble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
He just wan bubble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Family man wey dey struggle (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Abobi no dey find trouble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
E no dey find trouble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
He just wan bubble (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Family man wey dey struggle (Ahn-ahn-ahn)
Oh, oh, oh

Chorus
Dem don kill Abobi (Don kill Abobi)
Na who kill Abobi? (Who kill Abobi?)
Abobi, Abobi eh
Dem don kill Abobi eh (Don kill Abobi)
Na who kill Abobi? (Who kill Abobi?)
Abobi, Abobi eh, ay

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–Abobi by Patoranking

President Muhammadu Buhari has commissioned a wide assortment of operational assets acquired to strategically improve the capabilities of the police, particularly in crowd control and anti-riot operations.

The commissioning took place at the Force Headquarters.

The equipment commissioned include a total of 127 operational vehicles such as Toyota Hilux Pick up vans, Zahab Classic Pick-Up vans, Mikano Rich-6 Pick Up vans, Anti-Riot Water Cannons, Armored Personnel Carriers, Toyota Land Cruiser Prado Jeeps, Toyota Coaster Buses, Toyota Hiace Ambulances, Mikano Trucks, and Crowd Control Barriers Vehicles.

Also, a large catchment of arms, ammunition, riot control agents such as tear gas, tasers, stun guns, pepper sprays, bulletproof vests, helmets, and other personal protective equipment procured by the Police were commissioned by the President.

Protest control equipment, better still election protest control or election preparedness equipment. Indeed, elections in these parts are a war. And dare I add for a population of 200million plus, these are equipment that we did not purchase to combat crime, or tackle the gross insecurity that has been a hallmark, but are necessary for elections; but, what do I know? I know that it won’t be enough, Abobi will still die!

The Peoples Democratic Party PDP supporting Mr. Buhari and the All Progressives Congress fighting Buhari, indeed interesting times, and in case you don’t understand it, these are the main political parties, or let me put it in context, the APC is trying to deliver the electorates from the oppression of the APC, same party is accusing itself of intent to form an interim government. They equally want Nigerians to believe that the APC is the enemy of Nigeria. We technically, (and that is one of their favourite terms) vote APC out, and vote in APC.

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After all, for the past fortnight two popular Nigerian artistes have been at war (Seun Kuti and the PSquare duo) as a result of political differences, supporters from both camps making it an ethnic war and even more. The former does not believe in the three musketeers, the latter is Obidient.

I know that Abobi will die, Abobi will die because el-Rufai on the eve of these elections has damned the federal government and that same government has damned the Supreme Court, the people are going to damn the banks, we have seen a few sample protests in Edo/Delta states, in Abeokuta, Ibadan and parts of Lagos. These elections will be damned not because we want it so…

The elections will be damned if there’s voter apathy, and that may be the case, because Abobi can’t get cash to meet his daily needs, there’s no fuel for Abobi to go home, Abobi can’t make transfers, no electricity to charge his phone or watch news to be in the know. Abobi is agitated!

Do you know that our election is a war! On the day of election, you, ‘MUST’ stay at home, the only place you are permitted to go to is a polling booth, and if you are unlucky that your station is a drive away from your neighbourhood. Forget it! No one cares, what if there’s a medical emergency, in Borno state the governor had to declare free medicare as a result of the scarce redesigned notes cum cashless policy, so imagine the red eyed checkpoints on the D-Day and you need to get through an emergency; Abobi go die o!

Our elections are war, they are war that’s why it is held on Saturdays, people are confined and at the mercy of touts, thugs and who knows. That is why schools have been ordered to close, I mean universities, colleges, polytechnics, and high schools. For an average three weeks or more kids would be home because we want to elect leaders.

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Let me end with the words of the late legal luminary, sage and activist Gani Fawehinmi’s closing statement at the presidential debate of 2003 before the war (sorry) elections of that year ,”I want a country where the people have a place, I want a country where the masses who have been subjected to much poverty, deprivation, starvation have a place, I want a country where, millions of Nigerians are ignored by only few people, I want a country where that barrier should be broken, I don’t want to be in a country where God has created wealth for everybody, and yet those who are governing us, ignore, oppress, cheat, isolate the poor masses of our people. No! That’s not the country I dream of, and that’s why I am in the position I am today that I want to take the power from them, so that the masses of our people do not suffer again, from lack of employment, from lack of food, from lack of housing, from lack of jobs, from lack of water, from lack of electricity and a country that I want to establish free of corruption and starvation, free from all this dictatorship we have been encountering over the years. I want to establish a country, I want to establish a governance where there should be what we call, the best for all, not the best for a few and worst for a majority.”

Two decades later, we still battle the same ills of society that he sought to clear, and another war beckons in which Abobi will die again, will this uprising bring out the beast in us, or the best in us, will Abobi live to see a new Nigeria, or it will be soldier go, soldier come as a handful of Abobis pay the price—Only time will tell!